Autumn Hedonia

When I first began my concerted effort towards recovering from depression, after I had first spoken to my doctor and been officially diagnosed, things did improve, and shift. As the heavy fog of not even having the energy to leave the house lifted, I began to (for the first time since I was 12) experience anxiety. I had these times where I was afraid to go to sleep, because I felt like bad things would happen if I did. It would just come over me in the evening and I would feel very paranoid and out-of-sorts and like sleeping was the one thing guaranteed to make it worse. I’ve never been one for nightmares or being scared of them, so it was very odd and worrying for me. I think I more subconsciously feared waking up in the middle of the night with gastro – which has happened. Eventually I would sleep, and nothing bad ever happened. I also got angrier as the depression... mutated, I think. I just stared taking a more active role in my mental illness. Less ketamine-like stupor of forbea

Previously, in ‘ Resolve ’ I explored and lamented the fact that there was no answer to why I was depressed and that I did not have the wherewithal to overcome it. I discovered, almost immediately after I finished writing it, in conversation via email to Andrea about the blog, that there was a very big reason (though only one reason of many) why I was depressed. And I had missed it, for years.

My first political cartoon.  Inspired by this photo. Tags: #trans #transphobia #bathrooms #toilets #labelling #gender #rights #identity #bathroombill